Not only is it extremely difficult for a person coming home on parole, but let’s think about the impact on family. Here is a story of mine.
I met my son’s father 22 years ago. Didn’t work out between us in the beginning of those years. To my surprise he came home on parole some years later, got a hold of me, and then we tried to get back together. Me just starting my career and attending school, I had a full plate. In any event, I was kind of withdrawn, and not giving my all. Yes I am well educated about the Criminal Justice System, but never had to deal with a real life situation as I was. I was scared that if I gave my all, and then he went back to prison my heart would break. So, in all the mess I forgot what was important. The important thing was him finally meeting his son and him being the father he was unable to be at the time he was incarcerated. My son didn’t know his father until then, due to other circumstances.
Due to a rated R movie that is in most of society’s homes I’m sure, he went back to prison… totally bogus if you ask me. All I could think of was, isn’t there real criminals they should be worried about, than a parolee having a rated R movie? I was devastated, my son lost his father again. I was so mad at the system but for some reason I was more furious with him. I would not write him, talk to him, didn’t even want to hear his name. I guess I was just not understanding at the time that it wasn’t his fault.
Flash forward 4 years. He’s home again. I still was a bit sour about the whole going back, that I still didn’t want to deal with it all over again. After some months pass by, my son says, “Mom, I am talking to my dad”. I replied, “Okay, so what?” Well, I ask for his number and called him I think, that or text him but none the less, we are trying yet again to be a family. I am not so withdrawn this time, however, it is always in the back of my mind that he may go back for some other bogus reason. I am happy to say that so far so good—other than our schedules are conflicting and he is still grounded with a tether is still impacting us now. Due to our busy schedules and his tether restrictions, he can’t just get in the car and come to my house. I am having to try to juggle my schedule around so we can be able to see one another. It’s tough, but I think the strong will survive. I think this time around will be okay, he will be off parole in a few months.
The impact of him going back crushed the hopes that I had of us finally being a family. The impact that all of this had on our boy was much worse. The impact is still happening in our lives. With this being said, I want to tell all of those out there in this situation, just hang tight, let life happen. It will be OK!!